If you’re determined NOT to find a job but somehow you’ve managed to land an interview anyway, don’t worry. It is not too late. You can still mess it up in such subtle ways that no one would ever accuse you of not actually wanting the job. Just follow these little tips. You wouldn’t want to be obvious by doing things like wearing shoes that don’t match or just not showing up. But these 5 secrets to messing up an interview will ensure that you don’t get the job and no one will be the wiser!
1. Make sure they know how much you hate the last company you worked for (or the current one). Without saying as much, you can express your discontent in a lot of ways. Be specific and drop a couple names. Be sure that they are aware that anything that happened was not your fault and there’s no reason for you to feel bad and certainly no reason that you should ever have to make changes in your attitude.
2. Don’t put too much thought into what you are wearing. The scuffs in your shoes are fine. The wrinkles in your suit? They’ll likely mostly fall out on the way to the interview. Don’t even consider what other employees wear on the job – wear what expresses your personality.
3. Don’t worry about the interviewer. After all, you’re the one that should be nervous! Don’t even think about the fact that you could likely find out about the interviewer online through social media sites like LinkedIn. It doesn’t really matter that there could be things you have in common that you could use in the interview, does it?
4. Don’t forget your cell phone. You might get a call from the company that you really want to work at! Bring a big cup of take out coffee so that you can stay awake but don’t worry about references or a resume, or taking notes.
5. Once the interview is done it is done. Don’t take the time to follow up or write a thank you note. They likely won’t even read it, will they?
If you follow these tips you can mess up the interview and not have to worry about getting the job. You can go home and go back to playing video games all day long.
Unless of course you actually WANTED that job?
Oh, in that case, do the opposite of all of those things!!!